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December 11th, 2009- by jaime in on the roadIt seems like yesterday that Roxy rolled into our lives, with only four hundred miles on her odometer and all of the tread still on her tires. Back then, Chris and I were biased against cars, seeing no need for them in our walk-friendly city of San Francisco.
Over the past six months, Roxy has become a part of our family in a way that we never expected. After all, she is just a “brilliant silver” 2010 Ford Fusion- a mere material possession. Maybe it’s the fact that we practically lived in her as we traversed the country during the final days before our marriage ceremony. Or maybe it’s that she represented a connection to the country at large every time we passed a Ford dealership. It may sound stupid to you, but it is very real to us.
We spent our last moments with Roxy on the coldest, dreariest day of the year. We took some pictures, shot some video, and listened to her Sync voice one more time. As she drove off to meet her maker (Jason Camp of the Los Angeles Media Fleet Division), Chris and looked in the opposite direction to keep from bawling. We will miss Roxy, but the bottom line cost of purchasing a car of her quality just doesn’t jive with our current financial goals.
To borrow from Marley and Me, I have these final words about Roxy, arguably the world’s greatest car:
“What I really wanted to say was how this car had touched our souls and taught us some of the most important lessons of our lives. Roxy taught us about living each day with unbridled exuberance and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. She taught me to appreciate the simple things- a drive into the sunset, singing along to the radio, and traveling between the cities of the people you love most.”
Side note: To all the asshats who thought we changed our name to Ford because we wanted to get free stuff, I hope you’ll now find someone else to verbally assault. We’re Fordless Fords… and we’re cool with that.
December 8th, 2009- by jaime in marriage advice Ah, yes… the age-old debate: will your husband or wife cheat on you? If you listen to the media, it is a given that your spouse grab some secret action if one or more of the following things happen:
- Your spouse has to work late with an attractive co-worker several times a week.
- You gain weight while your spouse just keeps getting hotter.
- An ex-partner contacts your spouse and asks to meet up.
- Children enter the equation, reducing your sex life to holidays and long weekends.
- Your spouse gets drunk and hooks up with your best friend because he or she has been secretly wanting that person for years.
The whole cheating thing is not so far-fetched. After all, a recent story in The Week contended that men and women are not biologically created to be monogamous. According to Truth About Deception, thirty to sixty percent of all married individuals will “engage in infidelity at some point in their marriage.”
So how do you know if your husband or wife has a bit on the side? Get ready for the world’s most obvious answer…
ASK.
That’s right. Have a conversation. Sit down and actually look at one another. As you’re talking, make sure to pull out a copy of US Weekly or Star magazine. Of course, this advice only applies to couples like Bill/Hillary Clinton and Tiger Woods/Elin Nordegren. For everyone else, Truth About Deception offers other signs:
- Your spouse suddenly needs more space. (Note: this does not mean that when your wife asks for her own home office, she’s really looking for a new spot to bang the postman.)
- Your spouse seems bored with you, family, work, or home life. (Note: if other people also fall asleep while you are talking, you might be the problem, not infidelity.)
- Your spouse doesn’t care about having sex. (Note: Well, at least not with you.)
- Your spouse keeps his or her cell phone hidden. (Note: this doesn’t give you the license to start policing his text messages, phone calls, and iPhone app collection.)
Now, before you go all Nancy Drew and start looking for evidence that might not even exist, ask yourself if you really and truly believe there’s spousal shadiness going on. You may just be feeling insecure about yourself and passing that discomfort on to your better half. Remember the famous words of the doctor of love himself, Ice Cube, “check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
December 4th, 2009- by chris in on the roadIt’s been a few months since the Wedding Road Trip finished, and now that I’m recovering from the trauma, I can share some favorite experiences from the trip.
For the overly serious of you (and yes, I know who you are), I jest. The trip rocked and I loved almost everything. So when I tell you about my favorite food, it’s not because I didn’t have forty other homemade meals that were delicious. Everyone was a fantastic “guest” and treated us really well. Even those with dogs that tried to mount us (true story!). So here are some random favorites…
Best Mix CD
Many had asked about which was the best CD we were given at our Red Devil Lounge Kickoff party, and the winner was Colleen Crouch, who amazed us with a large collection of This American Life, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Savage Love, and mashups.
But we had dozens of other great ones, and Erin Camarena, Christina Kerby, and Matt Caywood all deserve shout-outs.
And so does Evan Hayden for having the balls to start a CD with Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John…which totally rocked.
Prettiest Drive
We live in a very good looking country! I know you grew up with her, and see her a lot, but clear your mind and look at her again. Yup, she’s not just the kid you went to elementary school with – she’s HOT!
Take that, Europe, you cold bitch.
We saw lots of great scenery, some surprising (West Texas, Kentucky, northeastern Oregon) and others expected (Mount Shasta, the St. Petersburg-Clearwater Bridge). My favorite though was the drive from Denver to Santa Fe – first the green eastern slope of the Rockies, with towering mountains in the distance and pancake flat plains below, then through a pass to New Mexico, stark and striking, with its bleak yellow mesas shadowed by the occasional solitary cloud.
Funnest Drive
Since New Mexico appears to have a population of 17 people, it’s light on the highway patrol. Roxy got to visit 110 MPH for a little while…though Jaime hit 112 in Utah. The hairpin turns on Independence Pass above Aspen were also a ball, although Jaime was sure we were going to die. So for high speed entertainment, I recommend driving from Utah into Arizona on I-10 through the video game-inspired Virgin River valley – sheer walls of rock, constant turns, and steep downward grade.
Funniest Drive
The Tampa to Ft. Lauderdale drive, featuring the stunning St. Petersburg-Clearwater Bridge and the arcade game danger of Alligator Alley – where I honestly expected a two lane road threatened by snapping gators. It’s actually quite dull but the entertainment value for Jaime when I shared my vision made it a lot more fun. And driving through Florida is accompanied by its insane collection of billboards that advertise—in succession—porn, an end to abortions, and vasectomies. These themes may be related.
Best BBQ
Mark’s Feed Store of Louisville does have some good BBQ, but Chad Pilbeam of greater outer Houston left work two hours early to mesquite smoke two whole chickens. And it was outstanding.
Craziest Drivers
Hands down, the people of Cleveland, who were apparently texting constantly or were blowing a 0.8. Genuinely scary driving with people swerving between lanes or slowing down to 40 on the interstate then speeding up to 70.
Best Restaurant (that we went to on our own)
I’m not going to evaluate the places people took us, because there is no way I could pick a favorite. But we had some lunches and dinners on our own, with the far and away standout being Magnolia’s Restaurant in Charleston, South Carolina. Fried chicken, pork shoulder, a crab cake…it was rich, unhealthy, and delicious.
December 3rd, 2009- by jaime in funny wedding stuffThis video made me laugh- I love that they whipped out their mobile phones to update their relationship statuses before hearing the final pronouncement. Of course, this is coming from a girl that updated her Facebook status a minute before walking down the aisle.
spread the word!
December 2nd, 2009- by jaime in deep wedding thoughtsPhoto Courtesy of RockandRollBride.com
In exploring the many issues related to marriage, there is none more prominent than the ongoing state-by-state battle over the legal rights of same-sex partners. Today, the New York State Senate voted down a proposal to legalize same-sex marriage by a vote of 38 to 24. I consider this pretty depressing, [...]
November 23rd, 2009- by chris in deep wedding thoughtsPhoto by Lesley Bryce Photography
It’s possible you’ve been reading Wedding Road Trip because you’re getting ready for your own “perfect” day. Whether it’s your first, or even your second, you might benefit from some hot tips I picked up during ours.
You are not magical on your wedding day. Normal laws of biology and [...]
November 13th, 2009- by jaime in funny wedding stuffWhile I admire the orchestration of this one (the logistics are insane, making me think John, the future groom, works for Disneyland), if Chris had proposed to me this way, I would have thought he was playing for the other team. (Hint: the other team is NOT Disney).
Take a peek and let me know what [...]
November 11th, 2009- by jaime in history of weddings
Photo by Lesley Bryce Photography
Denotative (that’s the dictionary definition, folks): a wedding is “a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities” or “an act, process, or instance of joining in close association.”
Yet when you type “a wedding is” in a Google search box, these are the statements that show up…
Connotative (that’s the meaning we [...]
November 6th, 2009- by jaime in wedding decisionsDoes anybody get married using a regular old “I’ve known him since I was two” minister anymore? It seems to be an increasing trend to dial a minister and make the marriage call using someone who is either a friend, relative, or professional officiant.
After all, who wouldn’t want to get married after this line:
“And now, [...]
November 5th, 2009- by jaime in funny wedding stuffWhile researching the history of bridesmaids for Wedding Road Trip, I came across a story that had me choking on my coffee.
According to an article in the Daily Mail (circa 2008), one in five women ask their BFFs to sign a bridesmaid pre-nup. Included:
Don’t get fat
Don’t get pregnant
Don’t cut your hair
Don’t get engaged
Don’t move to [...]
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